its 3 am and I must be lonely

I can feel the blood pulse in my body, signalling me that yes, I am still alive in a literal sense. Yet, parts of me are dying or close to it, and I do nothing to save them. Im a terrible person. A terrible, gross, useless thing. Im not even a person, I dont have the right to call myself one. I dont have a heart, I have no soul. Im living only physically, and even then, its just barely.

Every second of every day I want to scream to the heavens. "JUST TAKE ME ALREADY", they have yet to listen. Every bone in my body protests at every move. As I sit here musing, my stomach muscles are tearing away at themselves. I can hear rip, chomp, chomp, nom nom and yet, still I sit. Keeping myself away from sleep, why I dont know. Sleep and I have a very loving relationship, but somehow tonight Im not willing to succumb.

Every once in a while I wonder how much more of this Im going to have to take, because Ive had my fill. Quite literally, Im living to die, and trying to keep a smile on my face while I do so.

Is Anybody Listening,

Does Anybody hear

Does anybody out there see us

Drowning in our fears

Or is our future written on a sky cold as stone

So, God if youre listening send someone


its adam day....